Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Simplify...Follow up


[sim-pluh-fahy] Show IPA
–verb (used with object), -fied, -fy⋅ing.
to make less complex or complicated; make plainer or easier: to simplify a problem.

So I guess you wouldn't really say that is something that I have all. So I say simplifying is for the birds....
My steps to simplifying were simple. Fail proof, I thought. My life was about to become so crazily simple everyone would ask me how I did it, and I would give lessons. I would become an idol. :)

Well my life is anything but simple right now. A few people asked why we were doing it, and quite a few people looked at me like I had gone crazy. Moving away from friends I love, a school my daughter loved, moving from a job I loved, and a house we loved. But I wanted to do it because I felt my life spinning out of control, I felt so crazy busy, I wasn't enjoying life. I was living, but not living. I spent my days waiting for the next to come and go so I could say I made it through one more week, month or year. I wanted to take my life to a level where I could feel a semblance of control. We moved closer to Jason's work so his long hours wouldn't be quite as long, we cut our bills significantly (or so we thought we were), we moved to a smaller home where I don't feel I have to clean every *!@#$day!, I got rid of anything I hadn't used or think I would use in the immediate future, I weeded through toys, books, decorations, cooking stuff, and memories. I definitely feel a little calmer, but the change hasn't gone exactly as planned. I actually have more to worry about and less time to worry about it. But here is the crazy thing about this whole experience. I have learned, and grown more than I ever have. Since we made this change there have been days I have been on the floor weeping, not knowing how I could possibly make it one more day, wondering why I made a choice that seemed so easy and brilliant at the time, but had turned out to be so brutally hard and painful. But I will tell you what...I realized how much I took for granted, I realized I made myself busy, and I made myself not enjoy life. The pieces were there, but I didn't use them. I didn't take time to enjoy the "simple" parts of life.

So the moral of the story is: In making my life more complicated by simplifying, I am finally grateful for the simple pleasures of life.
The End...Lesson learned.


Anna said...

You are my hero.

Dad Despain said...

I would love to take lessons from you... you ARE my hero.
I'm proud you have the courage to try things to improve your life. Sometimes we just live each day trying to stay safe and alive and we aren't really alive at all. Once in a while we try to do something that literally scares us to death and we end up feeling more alive than ever before. I've been thinking about this a lot lately.

As I read your post I felt as though I was reading the words of an amazingly smart sage who has been writing for years. "Sage means wise and knowledgeable, especially as the result of a lot of experience." The word fits you well.

May you enjoy the "simple" parts of life more and more and may the days of weeping be farther and farther apart.

Love you

Ranell said...

Very insightful Whittney. I always love reading your blog. I wouldn't know if you are "famous" for your wisdom, (look up Sage) (although that was one of the colors in your wedding) but you have always been a lot wiser than those your age. I admire you, love and miss you and your family. Hopefully soon, I will be able to use your new benefits and come to visit. Simple as that. Love mom

The Hunt's said...

Way to be brave Whit. My dad told me over and over and over growing up that we rarely do any growing inside our box. It takes getting outside it and feeling a stretch and pull, discomfort and sometimes pain for us to grow. A lesson I know well, but at times wish wasn't true. Your mama is right, you've always been older and wiser than the rest of us and something tells me you'll get through this one gracefully too. Love your guts.

Garrett said...

Whit and Jason I miss you guys! Hope all is well in your new home!

McUTES said...

I love you...and I am glad that you are in my neck of the woods...and so is Kelle and JD.....

Cheri C. said...

Okay... I don't know if you remember me, but I was Abi's Sunbeam teacher for a few minutes. Then the ward split and split and I think it's done now that I will be moving - go figure... I found your blog off of someone else's.

I found out that you were moving a bit too late to say good-bye. I just had to comment and tell you that I thought you guys were great, and I really admire your post in trying to figure a bit more out of life. I think you should be very happy you found a bit of wisdom so young. I'll be 42 in about 6 weeks and it has taken me a "bit" longer... I am acutally going to short sale my home and move back east. I always hated living in a small town(in SC) and I always hated that we moved away from UT when I was 9. Funny thing, however, when you lose (or "think" you are losing) everything, it does make you more in tune with what is important. I'm not sure why I moved back here to UT 4 years ago. Sometimes, I "think" you can go back to happy times and that those happy time stay right where you put them years ago - in that "place". I realize now, you can't go back to them. They stay in your heart but things change and move on. I think I got Utah out of my system finally.

I am going to be happy to get back to my small town in SC. I somtimes want to feel like a failure, but I have so much more than a lot of people have right now. AND, I have a mother that loves me and family back east.

Don't you just wish you could be a part of Heavenly Father's thoughts as he puts us through our tests. I think I could have talked him out of a few of mine had I known what they were :).

Anyhow, I hope you don't mind me finding your blog and commenting. You were always such a bright sunshine to see at church and your family shines as brightly. We all have gifts and talents and one of yours is to make people feel important... even if it is just a smile passed in the church hallways. Sometimes our greatest gifts are so subtle, we don't figure out that small things are really gifts and blessings. I hope that you will continue to figure out how to simplify complications or complicate simplification... Just continue being you. Cheri C.