Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Simplify...Follow up


[sim-pluh-fahy] Show IPA
–verb (used with object), -fied, -fy⋅ing.
to make less complex or complicated; make plainer or easier: to simplify a problem.

So I guess you wouldn't really say that is something that I have all. So I say simplifying is for the birds....
My steps to simplifying were simple. Fail proof, I thought. My life was about to become so crazily simple everyone would ask me how I did it, and I would give lessons. I would become an idol. :)

Well my life is anything but simple right now. A few people asked why we were doing it, and quite a few people looked at me like I had gone crazy. Moving away from friends I love, a school my daughter loved, moving from a job I loved, and a house we loved. But I wanted to do it because I felt my life spinning out of control, I felt so crazy busy, I wasn't enjoying life. I was living, but not living. I spent my days waiting for the next to come and go so I could say I made it through one more week, month or year. I wanted to take my life to a level where I could feel a semblance of control. We moved closer to Jason's work so his long hours wouldn't be quite as long, we cut our bills significantly (or so we thought we were), we moved to a smaller home where I don't feel I have to clean every *!@#$day!, I got rid of anything I hadn't used or think I would use in the immediate future, I weeded through toys, books, decorations, cooking stuff, and memories. I definitely feel a little calmer, but the change hasn't gone exactly as planned. I actually have more to worry about and less time to worry about it. But here is the crazy thing about this whole experience. I have learned, and grown more than I ever have. Since we made this change there have been days I have been on the floor weeping, not knowing how I could possibly make it one more day, wondering why I made a choice that seemed so easy and brilliant at the time, but had turned out to be so brutally hard and painful. But I will tell you what...I realized how much I took for granted, I realized I made myself busy, and I made myself not enjoy life. The pieces were there, but I didn't use them. I didn't take time to enjoy the "simple" parts of life.

So the moral of the story is: In making my life more complicated by simplifying, I am finally grateful for the simple pleasures of life.
The End...Lesson learned.